Can you believe that Valentine’s Day brought in over 24 billion dollars this year? Amazing, isn’t it? Why is there an entire day dedicated to love and why do we spend so much money to show it?  Christina Perri said, “I have loved you for a thousand years and I will love you for a thousand more.” Since the beginning of time, people have been asking questions about love. Love is one of those things that the older you get, the more apparent the answers to the questions become.

Webster’s defines love as a very intense emotion. We understand that love is complex. The first priority in love has to be to love yourself. In a world that is filled with so many people searching for approval from others, we must learn how to find approval within ourselves. We do this by accepting who we are, being grateful for our experiences, learning to set boundaries, and remembering that it is ok to say no. See the good in who you are and understand that mistakes are a prerequisite for growth. You are worthy of love and it begins with you.

When it comes to intimate partners, love is defined in two ways: Passionate or Companionate love. While they can coexist in relationships, they are expressed differently as time moves on. Passionate love is more intense and short-term; companionate love focuses more on intimacy, trust, and affection and is more long-term.

The love of mankind is referred to as Agape love. We experience this more naturally. Whether we’re giving to our local shelters or helping a neighbor, Agape love is what keeps us smiling at mankind.

When we love someone, we express it through our behavior. How they receive it depends on who they are. So how do we show our love? Gary Chapman has identified expressions of love through The 5 Love Languages…

– Gifts – offering a visual symbol of love, whether a tangible item or the gift of your presence

– Quality Time – sharing time with another, giving your undivided attention

– Physical Touch – a kind touch or hug or placing your hand on a shoulder to comfort, are a few

– Words of Affirmation – use of words that compliment, encourage, or appreciate a person

– Acts of Services – doing things to please your loved one or serve him/ her

In relationships, whether platonic, family, or intimate, an adult or a child, we often face challenges when expressing our love in a way that does not align with the person we are in relationship with. When we are open to learning, we realize that we cannot love the way we need to receive love. Instead, we must adapt, and love the way our loved one needs to receive love. This has to be done with intention and consistency. When we are first in love with ourselves, we create the space to offer genuine love to someone else.

If you are struggling with self-love or are worried about relationships in your life, we, at Isaiah Counseling & Wellness, would love to support you through your process. If you are interested in more information about The 5 Love Languages, you can visit 5lovelanguages.com.

“Accept the things in which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.” -Marcus Aurelius