My husband and I have been married for 11 years, have three sons, and both work very hard in our careers, so it’s no surprise that we get lost in the day to day happenings of life. Most married couples know we need alone time away from work, the children, and our home, but let’s be honest, it’s hard to make that happen.
So let’s talk about why it’s so important to (consistently) date your spouse:
When is the last time you really had fun with your spouse? Dating creates an opportunity for you to go out, have fun, and laugh together. Laughter restores a sense of connection between two people who enjoy each other’s company, and helps keep your relationship fresh.
The Psychology Dictionary defines intimacy as, an affectionate or loving personal relationship where those involved have a deep understanding of one another, an emotional closeness. Dating your spouse helps you heighten that connection, when you truly live in the moment and be present with your spouse during that alone time.
Reminder of Love
Do you remember the early stages of your relationship? You know, prior to marriage…the times when you really enjoyed your boyfriend/ girlfriend’s company? You looked forward to spending time with him/ her. You were giddy, head over heels into that person. Dating is a reminder of that love, that passion that you have for your spouse.
Dating your spouse is a way to create a sacred space for the couple outside of their children. As parents, we are providers, teachers, chauffeurs, nurses and so much more to our children. I recall my 6 year-old son asking me what I do as a therapist. When I told him, his response was, “Well, Mommy sometimes you’re my therapist too, because you help me feel better!” While that is true for our children, that same dedication has to be applied to our marriage. I like to call it dating on purpose.
By dating your spouse, you are telling him or her that he or she is a priority, and that this relationship is valuable. When you are intentional about creating that space, that time for one another, you strengthen your marital bond. I’m sure you’ve heard of some “power couples”. For me, that is not defined by the things that you’ve acquired or how successful you are, but moreso how connected and in tune with one another you are. This connection is cultivated when you make your marriage a priority.